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About Me! Name: Shaun Matthew Niyo-RamdasSchool: Naval Base Secondary School(2003-2006), Millennia Institute Date of Birth: 10th January 1990 Contact: 67594006(h) 91566941(hp) [[*Things I Like*]]
Food: I love Chicken and Egg, And Fruit Loops and Honey Stars
[[*These Suck*]]
Important: Not knowing why life sucks, feeling down and depressed [[*Songs of the Week*]]
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To Read or Not to Read One day, one week, one month or one year. Time still passes by. Thoughts, Emotions, Fears, Pains, Joys, Hopes, all flutter past. One Moment, One LifeA Page from My Life Wednesday, August 29, 2007
I didn't go to school today, stayed home cause my back has been giving me problems. Stupid small sling bag.
I've been kinda down recently, its just hard to be happy nowadays. I don't know if its just me or if its everyone but, isn't life getting suckier by the moment? Its like suddenly the world really sucks allot. I've been feeling really weird this couple of weeks. Its like I'm from this world but not apart of it. A stranger looking in at the chaos in this world and feeling much sympathy for it. I spent my Sunday wandering around my estate looking at the world. The was people interact, walk past one another not knowing if they had done that before. And I realised that there was nothing I could do to affect the world. That it was separate from me. I really feel so different. Like my life is not my own. Its not a depressing feeling nor a suicidal one but, not normal. I've been watching what has now become my number one favourite show in the world "Kyle XY". I just watched the most recent episode earlier today and now I have to wait a whole week for the next episode. The show is so different from anything I've ever seen. I feel so akin to the show. Maybe that's what's displacing me from my life. Nothing feels real anymore. Nothing really matters to me anymore. I don't care if I eat or sleep or get good grades. I just need to talk to someone about all this. Then I realised that I don't truly have anyone that I can talk to. Friends, yes lots of them, i think. But someone to talk to? I realised that I've never had any one true friend that I could call when I needed help or go to when I needed a listening ear or even ask for advice from. I am truly alone in this world, apart from everyone else, separate, different. I guess that's just the way I have to continue. I though of talking to a counsellor but the one in my school was busy and I can't get the numbers of the hotlines. I guess it wouldn't matter even if I did get them. They wouldn't understand. Its different from television. Life really sucks Shaun, get over it. Its really scary if you think about it. Time is just passing by so quickly and there's nothing any of us can do about it. One moment you're in you're childhood and the next, you're on you're deathbed saying goodbye to the world. Nothing is ever certain in this world other than death but even then, what's after that? Heaven? I believe in God but then why am I feeling this way? I'm not super smart, super fit or good looking. And I'm not normal either. So what am I? My pay came in on Monday and I bought an electric toothbrush, new toothpaste, some stuff for my face and ate dinner. It made me happy for awhile. Simple things to dull out the pain. Money is not important after all. I need to go on a journey to a far away place. New Zealand? UK? America? Someplace where its peaceful and quiet, no deadline or assignment or expectations to be fulfilled. I want to look out over the horizon and feel at peace with myself, that I truly am living in this world. I love my country but its too much, its people are slowly dying and only money and temporal wealth is keeping us alive. NO! No more will I just live as I'm told. I'm trapped, within a box, like a butterfly trapped in a glass jar. Let me out, will you let me out? Sometimes I wish that I am unique, better than just the normal. And not that all these would be in my mind but be real, that I am special, really special. And that I was safe, and not alone. Never alone again. ......Different.......from now.......please... I'm just going to go on, maybe one day someone will come and tell me that none of this was ever real. Maybe.~ SupremeShaun is sleek and Handsome @ 2:10 pm Sunday, August 12, 2007
HEY!
Life's much better now! Just wish I had more time to blog these days. Anyway, I got a new phone thanks to my mom. 91566941 is my number and remember to sms me cause i lost all my numbers. Hey! I got into MI Arts Fest so I'll be singing on th 24th of August at Millennia Institute. Call me if you want tickets ok? There's gonna be drama, dances, singing, bands and lots more so don't miss it. Oh, and I'm also a Student Council Intern! I got the Job! haha, even if it does mean I'm basically free labour, its one step away from being a Student Councillor! I thank God for this National Day holiday holiday cause I really needed it. Holidays Rock! But Tomorrow's school. Aww man! Met with Kiam, KY and Fann to watch a movie on friday and even though I bought a ticket for the movie "SkinWalkers", I went to watch Secret, the Jay Chou movie, with them. It was kinda boring and the ending was like "Whattt???" Anyway, haven't seen them in a while and I realised that I really missed them. Aaron, Joann? Dunno what happened to them. Anyway, I'm gonna make it a point to stay in contact with them. Gotta go now! Sigh! Back to school! Cheers~ SupremeShaun is sleek and Handsome @ 7:42 pm Thursday, August 02, 2007
I'm at work now. Feeling damm crappy cause I just realised that my phone is really gone forever and all my numbers are also gone. Gone with the wind. I can never get all of them back. And all my photos...gone as well. I just topped up my card and now its gone. I have no one to blame but myself. I feel stupid to the core...Stupid to the maximum. Stupid
I've been so stressed out.. Pushed beyond my limit and I know it. I'm about to break and I have to hold on. Hold on cause my exits coming soon. Hold on.... SupremeShaun is sleek and Handsome @ 8:04 pm
Shaun Lost his phone on yesterday. Shaun realises that Shaun's been a jerk. Shaun's family is a mess. Shaun hates his image. Shaun hates this world. Shaun broke down. Pity him won't you, cause I'm not gonna bother, he's a lost cause.
I stumble in the Dark and cry out. Will anyone hear me? Cry in the corner and let no one hear or see you... SupremeShaun is sleek and Handsome @ 7:59 pm
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