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About Me! Name: Shaun Matthew Niyo-RamdasSchool: Naval Base Secondary School(2003-2006), Millennia Institute Date of Birth: 10th January 1990 Contact: 67594006(h) 91566941(hp) [[*Things I Like*]]
Food: I love Chicken and Egg, And Fruit Loops and Honey Stars
[[*These Suck*]]
Important: Not knowing why life sucks, feeling down and depressed [[*Songs of the Week*]]
3: Boston -Augustana //
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To Read or Not to Read One day, one week, one month or one year. Time still passes by. Thoughts, Emotions, Fears, Pains, Joys, Hopes, all flutter past. One Moment, One LifeA Page from My Life Wednesday, July 30, 2008
I didn't go to school today for reasons that are mine alone.
I wanted to accomplish so much today but ended up doing next to nothing. That seems to be the story of my life. Always setting out with a goal that never seems to materialize. I found out yesterday that I have to return this laptop to the school today but i'm hoping to keep it at least till next week. Please let me fate, give me a little more time. I don't feel part of this world. Never have, and I doubt I ever will. I wish that fate would just let me know. Let me in on this cosmic secret that everyone seems to blend into without asking questions. I hate this feeling. Being cooped up in this false life of mine. Maybe one day I'll journey across the sea to that place where I can be free. Where I'll be able to look out into the sky and know that I am all that I want to be. That one place where I can just tear away all my hopes and fears and just ... be. Then again, that's just my hope. But till that day, I'll just leave it all up to fate then~ SupremeShaun is sleek and Handsome @ 8:58 pm Friday, July 25, 2008
Sometimes the pain consumes us all
. . . . . . Don't give in . . . . . . I know it's hard . . . . . . I know you're grip on life is slipping away . . . . . . I know you hurt inside now more than ever . . . . . . Confusion's true form is the uncertainty in every aspect of life . . . . . . Please, just don't give up . . . . . . It's not your time yet . . . . . . There's still so much more to this . . . . . . Things will get better soon . . . . . . I promise you, it's true . . . . . . . . . . . . But that's just a lie I tell myself SupremeShaun is sleek and Handsome @ 12:35 pm Thursday, July 17, 2008
Had malay listening comprehension today. I hate malay. Lets just say that I've still got a long way to go understanding the malay language. Did I mention I hate malay? Just 18 more months to go to the end of this waste of my time.
Expectations of life let us down. The more expectations we have, the harder we fall. Is that always why farmers always seem more happy than the richest people in the world? Expectations let us down. It can be deceiving; giving us hope at times just so that we have something to lose in life. Life is such an evil creation. The ideas that we are taught to grow and cultivate so that we can fail miserably at them in the end. I need to distance myself from all my expectations, if I have less expectations, then I have less to lose. That's what I'll try to do. If just for the logical truth that should set me free, I will begin on this venture. I feel more tired everyday, now more than ever. I sometimes see things that are not there at all. My mind and my eyes fail me at times. I worry that this feeling will get worse. I feel my energy ebbing away slowly as time passes quickly by. I don't know if I can go on....but I will try. Try to deny all the pains of life, all the weaknesses of the body. I can only try... Go on, Shaun, go on~ SupremeShaun is sleek and Handsome @ 9:15 pm Tuesday, July 15, 2008
They say that the hardest people to accept are sometimes the easiest to understand. But the easiest people to accept are sometimes the hardest to understand.
I'm really tired but sleep will have to wait till I complete this stupid aspect of Project Work, another stupid invention of the singaporean government to waste their students lives. This really sucks. I have no motivation to complete this assignment. I don't think that I can do it. Its just a draft but my teacher is fully expecting my Evaluation of Material tomorrow. SCREW IT! I'm not going to do it. This system of education just sucks. Period. I was told that my handwriting is too simple to a point of it being unhealthy. I resent that statement. Its not that I am in any way simple, its just that I choose to convey my writing, the message that I'm trying to bring across, in an easy way to understand. The way I choose to express myself is my own decision and no one elses so I'm not going to change who I am, my writing included, in any way. If I were to write simply, it would be like this ; today I went to school. It was a very long day. I was very tired because of the long day. PHEW! I am gland that I am home now. Now I can sleep to get back my energy. Yay! ~Now that is simple. Btw, I take no offence against the person who said this, so if you're reading this post, I'm saying it for the sake of saying and it doesn't affect our relationship. (There are other things that do that nicely) Sometimes I wonder if all this is worth it. I mean the living of life. Its too painful to bear sometimes. This situation sucks~ SupremeShaun is sleek and Handsome @ 11:20 pm Monday, July 07, 2008
Blogger is so screwed up. I have like three posts that did not even get published. Hopefully this one does.
I hate my father. And that's saying something since all my friends know that I never hate a person, just their behaviour. But with my father, I'll make an exception. I hate his guts to the core, with every fibre of my being. I seriously wish my mom would just divorce him and get married to a nice rich man. That would solve alot of our problems. If you ask my friends, they'll tell you that I say I have no father, and its true to a large extent. He's an asshole... Just a minute ago my mom turned off the internet by accident so from the room I shouted to her as she went into the bathroom to turn it on. My father starts shouting at me for rasing my voice and suddenly goes on about smashing this laptop, which isn't even paid by him. He promised to buy me a laptop last year by the way, and hasn't kept his promise yet. So screw him, screw him to whatever hell exists here on earth and down below. Today was my annoying little brother's birthday. He turned 16 and is becoming more like my father everyday. I really don't like that. Anyway, I went to meet the GAP committee today for a meeting along rivervalley road. I woke up damm early to go there and came back at around 6pm. So guess who is the new GAP president? Patrick! So now he's the president of both GAP and Drama. Some people have all the luck. But I'm not that affected over it. *scoffs* Don't you wish sometimes you were born into a different family? I daydream about it all the time. Mostly my daydreams start out with my mother divorcing my father and marrying a freaking rich and nice man. Then both and my stepdad and my stepmom (my dad marries his mistress) try to by my affection. And I love it! I drive a car, go to the most exclusive parties, jett off on short weekend holidays on the private jet, and shop for electronics till I drop. The scene from Home Alone 4 where the boy enters the room his stepmom-to-be has prepared for him with the huge T.V. screen that also acts as a computer screen. Dammit! I really wish that life would be different from now. This life really sucks. Seriously. School starts tomorrow and I'm not looking forward to it. Its just something in life that we have to go through. Look at people in China and Russia. From young they are brought up to do something specific, such as gymnastics or running. Here in Singapore we have to waste half of our life learning abot things that we most probably will not use in our lifetimes. This really suck. And there's a hair and uniform spot-check tomorrow. I have to wax up my hair so I won't get caught. Sigh, sucks to be me... I want a sidekick but my mom says she's not going to pay for it. I must find a way to get the money to pay for it. Life really sucks. I need sleep for the sucky day ahead so I'm off to dream about a different life~ SupremeShaun is sleek and Handsome @ 10:05 pm
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